I eventually had sex with him. Plain and simple I will start off by telling you this. I needed to, and I wanted to. It wasn’t love at first sight, it wasn’t even lust at first sight. He was an older man who came in my awkward transition, for about two months. Two months that I got that itch I needed to scratch and he soon saw that. He soon got distant. The further he went away from me, the harder I would walk up the hills of San Francisco to find him and fuck him. To ride him. To ride him long and hard till his eyes rolled back. Untill he came apart at my doing over and over again and wanted to praise the world that I did him that good. Yeah, that’s me. That’s the satisfaction that I take apart in.
That wasn’t my intention when we met though. I tried to sell him a watch and he came in just waiting for a friend. He had a drink before so opened up quicker, and talked to me as he waited so he could head off to work. He was interesting, he was intriguing. The way he looked at me with those hazel eyes and the contrast against his caramel skin was new. I’ve never had caramel before. It was missed, feelings of butterflies in the stomach, and the fact that they were any scared me. Before I knew it we just talked, talked about anything and everything and he handed me his business card. The gull to do that. Be so confident in not getting my number but sure enough I would contact him. I liked that though.
I waited till the end of the day to text him. I was in shock that he remembered my name. I contemplated at first as I stared at the card. I caressed it over and over again thinking that it would tell me something, or tell me a clue about this guy. He was a cook. He was a chocolatier. He was good-looking.
It went on non stop texting and flirting till we finally met up about a week later. It was a thursday in October. I would’ve seen him before when I was alone but I was afraid. Did I fail to mention I lived with my ex at this time? I secretly felt bad but was too excited as I finally snuck off with a “co-worker” that day. I shouldn’t have lied, I did nothing wrong.
We were classy that day. He had a suit. I was in a red skirt and leopard blouse. He just came off of work as I waited for him on the corner. He walked up with a smile I saw a mile away. He smelled delicious. Oh, caramel. We walked not knowing where to head to till we landed on one of his usual spots. A cozy little wine bar. I know nothing about wine. All I know is that it messes me up sooner and I wake up horrible.
I had a nice dark ale called a “He’brew.” I’m not going to lie, I thought that was the best name and was curious how a hebrew tasted. I drank four of those bad boys like water. No bitter after taste, (sometimes I like bitter beer though), just smooth, cold ale swimming my senses. I’m not sure what we talked about specifically. We named the weird creatures that were painted on the walls of the place. We skipped the basics and talked about stories, as if we already knew the back story. I was in normal flirting position with my legs crossed towards him and his body towards mine. He talked a lot. I loved it. His voice was something else. Maybe it was the he’brews, but on the first date I pictured having sex with him. Every now and then I shook it off. I just wanted to talk to the man but this mind of mine. Bad thoughts brewed in my head when he wore that suit. I then wondered what he was thinking.
He sat right next to me the whole time on the bus and gave me this look, as if he saw something in me I didn’t see, on our way back home. Coincidentally we lived in the same area, my luck. Oh if you would’ve seen caramel. He was the center of attention on the bus. He was the lively one, the one you wanted to be friends with. Yeah, I knew that guy. To everyone on the bus we went way back.
After the bus he walked me home, which is about twenty minutes from his house. Time melted as we walked and to our right was of course the romantic view of the ocean. The tourist in him, being he recently moved, took as many pictures as he could with his phone.
The alcohol was giving me courage as I started to be more physical. I pulled him down to the curb where we talked some more. He told me how small my feet were compared to his clown shoes. The alcohol gave me more courage as I went from a handshake to embracing him in a goodnight hug. He held tighter.
I went inside happy. I went inside to see my sleeping ex and the horrible smile I could not hide.
He wanted me to go over. Oh, of course I thought about it, yet I waved him off. Something called guilt hesitated my actions and I soon met sleep.
I knew this guy was different. He was going to help me face my fears, being that going out with a guy I met at work was a first. A co-worker, now that’s a different story.
I woke up with hung over butterflies in my stomach and more good morning text messages. I drank a gallon of water and tried my best to empty the he’brews from my system.
Have you ever thought about having sex with someone on the first date? What are typical guy thoughts, as well as girl thoughts?