Blogging, Word Vomit

Social Faux Pas

you know, vomiting on someone is a social faux pas – Jerry Seinfeld

I base my views on the standards of a show based on nothing. Coincidentally this episode came up when Kramer pukes on a woman, the same day I received a comment from a guy who said his friend puked on someone she was flirting with. OOo, ouch!

Typical when you’re mixing alcohol and haven’t figured out your “limits.”

I have never puked on someone I was flirting with. I just puked all over a guy I just met at a party, that’s all.

It was years ago when I was an amateur drinker taking too many shots, too much beer, and I was too on top of the world.Never get that high if you don’t have the right shoes to land on. That didn’t entirely trigger the vomiting. Seeing a guy I once had a thing for, wasn’t it. A girl who pissed me off in high school, who screwed over my friend, and cried for everything to make herself a weak easy attention target, wasn’t it. The same girl who by the way became disgusted that a classmate said we looked alike. That came close, but that wasn’t it.

It was the moment of not giving a fuck, being in the spotlight due to spite, and mixing drinks. It was in the moment when you don’t have the best self-esteem and when you get shots in you, oh, you’re looking and feelin’ good!

Damn bitch…yet I digress.

I took shots as I stared at her, I specifically remembered because the alcohol tasted that much better. I stood proudly in my wedges, still not tipping over.

Then I don’t remember what happened next.

I opened my eyes and I was on a bench with people I never met. Blurred strange faces, To my left was some ugly guy. He tried touching me and as an angry feminist drunk, I turned around and propelled vomit all over him. Self defense, is my defense on that day. Chunks of the night, and bits of my lunch swirled and flew and stared back at me. I’m slung over here, over there. Meeting eye contact with people I don’t want to see. Wishing I was dead. Usual drunk thoughts.

A good friend cleaned off the left over spewed on my face. Sadly, I was that drunk person that night. I’ve come a long way though, I had to learn one way. Then bits and pieces soon came together. The same guy I puked on insists he’ll take me to the bathroom and wash me up. Luckily, my friends guard me.

If he was ugly when I had my beer goggles on, then sober he must’ve been the ugliest, desperate, son of a gun at the party. The pride in the persistence of going after a drunk girl after she pukes on you. Surprised he was there alone.

But again, vomiting on someone is a social faux pas. It takes awhile to redeem yourself and be welcomed back to society. There will always be that one guy who bring up, “hey remember when…” I don’t appreciate those people. Those people need to go away. I’m proud to say I’ve been on a no puke streak for a year now, minus one bad chinese experience. *shudders*

I was bored and thought I’d put together a list of some social faux pas I have encountered.

Throwing up on someone

thinking you dance really good at a party, when you don’t

not being able to walk in heels. Girls look dumb.

Having a rat-tail. Guys, eww

this is not cool.

this is not cool.

being an old man wearing a low-cut v-neck showing chest hair

being a young man wearing a low-cut v-neck showing chest hair

guys wearing a low-cut v-neck

wearing pjs out in public, shopping, eating, pairing it with boots thinking you’re cute.

being drunk and confessing your love to someone

confessing your love to someone in public, period.

drunk texting

drunk dialing

thinking that the butt crack is the new cleavage. No, bitch, no.

Posting drunk pictures on social media

pouring your whole life, when you shit, how big it was, etc, on Facebook. no.

interrupting Taylor Swift while she makes a speech

What are more social faux pas?




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