Fail by my own hand

I had a sex dream last night with no sex and in fact no person.

It was the weirdest dream I’ve had in a while…twas a masturbation dream.

This is what I have been reduced to. A masturbation dream! the lowest of the sex dream rankings, where you can’t even masturbate in reality, one must escape in dream world to act this dirty deed out.

Not getting any has left my imagination dry, along with the paranoia that welcomes me every night that doesn’t allow me to think naughty thoughts on the couch. My subconscious, imagination and vagina are scared, and turned off by my mother. I don’t blame them. Nothing is worse than getting caught by a parental, especially when you’ve passed the puberty mark and are living on a couch. It’s not pretty.

Rewinding before I went to sleep.

I couldn’t take the agonizing pressure building with in the loins of untouched desire (the hornier I get the more detailed my sentences become). The point was that I needed to masturbate, no other way around it.

So I put on some porn on my phone, because I’m classy and zoned out into my headphones, of course only wearing one ear bud due to paranoia. The living room doors were slightly open, to again allow myself time in case someone is coming my way.

And I started.

With something soft so I wouldn’t be that indulged in my fantasy.

Nothing. Ugh.

I think I forgot how the process worked.

I started again but this time a different way, rubbing myself counter-clockwise and multitasking with my middle finger. It was beginning to feel good until I started hearing this constant squeaking of the bed. I kept stopping and pulling my hand out every 5 seconds until I got irritated and gave up.

After a good couple minutes of mental preparation I began again but this time would skip the soft stuff and go right into the hard horrible things that tickles my fancy. All completely normal dominant, submissive fantasies. You know, some hot guy who I gave control to is having his way with me and teaching me to respect him through the curves of my body. Then a hot girl enters and eats me out and I’m about to release years worth of build up. Almost, almost! …nothing.

I wanted to cry.

I heard footprints and stopped and blue balled myself. Self-inflicted sex injury, sigh.

This all obviously had failed. I failed at masturbation.

I ended up knocking out with my hand down my pants, keeping it warm.

I then am in dream world and I see myself trying to masturbate. The feeling was amazing because it felt like I did go between the clenching. I squirmed, it became blurry again, I started to wake.

Fast forward.

Woke up to my brother across from me on the other couch cushion silently sitting “watching” Looney Toones.

I may have been moaning, who knows. I really hope I wasn’t.

It will eventually resurface at my brother’s therapy session.


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