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Holy shit, you’re ugly.

You know when you have a really ugly relative and everyone knows this but does not speak of it in front of the child? Well, we’ve got a whole bunch in my family, especially my dad’s side, but they’re lovely people on the “inside.” If you will buy into this.
It is worse when you have a really ugly relative and they are stuck-up, conceited, and have the worst attitude in the world, which if possible, makes them uglier.

I’m not saying this because I think I’m so pretty, no, I have as many issues as PlayBoy, but also confidence, with the balance of being humble.

Then there’s my younger cousin on my mom’s side….

Holy shit.

I say holy because she converted at a young age into Christianity and tried to save my sisters and my own soul about 8 or 10 years ago. She thought we had the devil in us and that my sisters taste of listening to N*SYNC was unworldly.

That’s not the point here…

Beneath the hypocritical life they show, they were homeschooled. My other cousins turned out fine, because eventually they went into the real world. This one hasn’t. She didn’t have public school to break her self-esteem and soul. Good stuff, they don’t sell these lessons on-line.

So she was under the impression that everything is beautiful, blah blah blah. It went too far because she thinks she is good-looking. She fell down the ugly tree and got hit with every branch on the way down.  Like I said, it’s her attitude. She wants nothing but designers and a high social life. Obviously someone forgot whose family crossed the border.

Her only talent is she can sing. Now, this isn’t a post where I rant how ugly she is, because that’s more than a post. It’s because I am so perplexed that she has so many guys after her! She was recently engaged to a hot Spaniard dude (arranged marriage, also younger than me) and he broke it off due to her conceitness, rudeness, and obsession with money. Months later she already has another boyfriend. If I may quote Sophia from the Golden Girls, “Sluts just heal faster.”

No one pays attention to this though, as her mother says, “My girls are good they’re Christian.” Really, Aunt? This is like the Taylor Swift goggles. Religion doesn’t matter describe the moral of a person.

One word eventually went from my aunt, to my uncle, back to my other aunt, around some cousins, to my grandma, to my mom, and to myself. The word is “huh?” Followed by how the hell does she have guys after her?

It’s funnier when my grandma says it in spanish…because she’s old, little, and anything from one’s grandma is sweet. Especially curse words.

This should be either hope that there’s someone out there for everyone, or that the key is to be a jerk/bitch to get a significant other.

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