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Mmm…noses

Compliments.
How do you take such things?
I’ve never had the best reactions towards anybody telling me I was beautiful or looking deep into my eyes and praising the Gods for my existence. Guess years of self esteem problems does this to a lad.
Despite me being horrible at taking compliments and even more awkward at dishing them out, a general rule would be to just say something nice, right?

A couple of weeks ago I got a text from a “friend” that I swore I felt sexual tension from months before. Finally the day came. I took a notorious selfie featuring my cat on the infamous instagram. Add a little booze to eyes of my friend and this is the exact text I got.

“You look cute AF in that picture ewitj  your cat. I hav r a thing for noses and other middle eart ern subletties I’ve been mixing drinks and vodka for the last 4 hours so this is totally OK.”

Translation: you look cute as fuck with your cat, that picture shows your big middle eastern nose and I’m into that.

I couldn’t help but laugh. The poor spelling added to story of the vodka and threw me off. Why on earth would this be your approach to hit on me?

I responded back with a thanks and why the nose. This wasn’t a I like what you said please go on, this was a sincere why the fuck would you go on about my nose.

Not thinking he said anything wrong, other than slight embarrassment that he drunk text me, he said he liked Arabic noses and I have a nice one.

He also may have added he has a thing for noses.

A thing.

That’s like saying to a big girl, ” baby I’m into fat chicks, its OK.”

Poking at a skin graft on a person and saying “your just my type.”

Or folding the wrinkles on a body and going “mmm, you’re ripe.”

I really hope no one ever goes mmm you’re ripe, that’s just sick.

…and this is the reason I can’t take compliments.

Seriously guys, can’t you just say you’re cute?

The worst part about this is he was drunk….honest nose love seeped through.

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