An abandoned blog, a thousand apologies. 

I’ll spill the nutshell later, I am just happy to write, although it seems that anger and hurt only make me write.

I feel that I need to write this, I don’t tolerate bullying.

A couple of days ago the cops came to my house to talk to my brother. A disturbed image came into the officer’s hands. A doodle of my brother blowing his brains out with a message to a girl he drew it for. No, this isn’t the way to win a girls heart, but who can blame my brother, this is what he saw in my dad. We’re about 10 years apart, what I saw, I processed differently obviously then him.

The cop though, felt that there was more than what was drawn. He wanted to talk to him.

My brother was bullied all his life. My rant on how the school’s do nothing will be for later, but now in high school it seemed to have stopped. Now just simple adolescent problems that I hope my tomboyish ways will make up for the lack of a male role model in his life.

Times like those scare me. The thoughts that followed and bounced off scenario to scenario haunted me. I tried to shake it off.

When a young person feels no need to live anymore, to breathe, to exist, because somebody thinks they are a waste of space. Who is anyone to make the judgement of a person? Yes, he likes comics and draws a lot (very good at it by the way), but he isn’t afraid to be himself.

More courage than those bullies, to keep going.

Then I stumbled across his email by accident while trying to check mine. Adults, young kids, who knows the age of the person on the other end of the computer screen, telling him to kill himself. For simple things, simple animation that he makes, simple “memes” hes trying to do. Trying to find himself, trying to see where he fits in.

Broke my heart. No one should ever have to feel this way.

I did what any normal parent, older sibling would do. Create a fake account and respond back to every single one of those D-bags. I can take it. Go ahead, give it all to me, those words can’t hurt me, just the words directed to him.

This is the problem with the world.

What is the point? At what cost to feed ones ego? To do it just because…at what cost. Young people take their lives all the time due to bullying and I don’t want my brother to be another story I tell. I don’t want to read anymore stories about people who couldn’t take it anymore, who tried to talk and no one could listen, who kept it inside because they felt like no one would listen.

If anyone out there ever feels like this and happens to stumble across these pages, please talk. Talk to me! It’s fine. I’ll show you cat pictures, but please know that you’re not alone, not the only one battling these demons, and there has to be an end to this.

Nothing can be done if nothing is said.


I swear I’ll listen.

Everyone will.

Shouldn’t be punished for being human, for being alive. We all have the pursuit of happiness, all entitled to equal happiness in life.

How does somebody find courage? That is my question. Teach courage?

Talk. Speak. We will listen.




It’s raining in Southern California.


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